HALLO!
I am feeling fine, having (almost) finished the school week and getting 2 big projects out of the way.
However, before I continue, let me apologize in advance for any typos in this entry - I am at the UIUC library and the keyboard is sticking wonderfully!
I am theoretically preparing for class - I have an Asian Mythology discussion session at noon and I am supposed to be reading. However, I guess you could consider typing on my weblog as class preparation - I am emptying my mind of superfluous thoughts so that I can fit some more knowledge in there...
I addressed the issue that I posted about a few days ago regarding unwanted information (see One Human Family) and I feel pretty good about it. I wasn't mean or rude, but I was frank and honest, and (I hope) a little tactful as well.
This weekend (or wochende, auf Deutsch), Nathan and I have a date to go to Curtis Orchard (a local orchard that has yummy apples and now pumpkins) to pick pumpkins and then go home and carve them. We think perhaps another couple might come with us (one of Nathan's classmates and her boyfriend) and it shall be a jolly time. We may also check out a rugby game!
Sunday is Baha'i Study Circle, but I think I may not go, since the Interfaith Action Group on campus is helping to restore prairie during the same time slot. Its a one-time thing, and I can't resist combining the fun of nature with interfaith fun!
Nathan has founded a club, called the Children's Enrichment Program, which is founded on the Virtues Project, an educational model that focuses on instilling spiritual values (regardless of religious background) in children & families. We will be working in November with a teen mother's group, so if you're around and want to help out, give us a ring!
There is another really cool club on campus that I heard about only this year, called the Hands on Herb Society, which meets monthly and features a monthly herb, about which one can learn and with which one can do cool things (sorry that's so specific)... This month's herb is mint, and we will be meeting on Monday to make lip balm! :) mmm... lip balm...
I especially like this class since I am interested in ethnobotany (anthropology + plants = ethnobotany) and UIUC doesn't have much of a program.
Okay - enough of this dilly-dallying. Off to studying.
Schoenes Wochenende!
love,
~liz
Posted by lizington at October 8, 2004 10:23 AMYay for ethnobotany!
Posted by: J at October 13, 2004 01:52 PMYes, it does help. That's a great process for resolving a situation w/out letting your truly righteous indignation take over. I know all about being a vengeful chap, too. But I'm so glad you found a constructive way to set a clear boundary so that this person doesn't blast you again. I tend to get so upset that I'm afraid to attempt further communication, so I wind up being helpess in the face of what is, in fact, an assault. Well done, Liz, and thanks for helping me understand.
Posted by: Amy Eades at October 9, 2004 03:46 PMAmy-
It was sort of difficult, but I kept it pretty simple. First of all, I wrote a venting letter, saying all of the things I wished I'd said at the time, as well as a few things that I just wanted to say.
Then, I wrote a letter (email, actually), since that allowed me to collect my thoughts without being a rude jerk. This letter was more of a scientific thing - sort of an essay form as to why I was logically hurt.
Then I breathed alot and relaxed.
After that, I wrote another letter which expressed how I felt. Because I had sort of distanced myself from the event and relaxed, that letter was more matter-of-fact, saying such things as "I felt this way" or "When you did this, I felt in this way." I didn't get bogged down in defending why I felt that way - I just said what I felt.
Ultimately, I combined the last letter with a few "life lesson" things, such as "words have power, and the effects are not always easily seen" which is general so as not to offend but yet specific to the situation.
It helped me to have my best friend (my husband) to help me through this. He encouraged me to be direct and not beat around the bush while at the same time keeping my motive in mind. Since I wanted to communicate what I felt and not embarrass or beat down this person, it was good to keep that in mind (I can be a vengeful chap sometimes).
I hope that helped!
love,
~liz
Posted by: Liz at October 8, 2004 04:08 PMI'd like to know more about how you addressed the "unwanted info" situation. I could use a little of that frankness blended with tact.
Posted by: Amy Eades at October 8, 2004 03:15 PM