Okay - so sorry about that last bit...
I've been thinking a lot about the idea of motherhood and wife-hood. More wife-hood, because that's where I am now. And I read an article sent by Mara Fojas regarding feminism and the role of women in the family and now my brain is whirring!!
The article was printed in a publication for Baha'i parents and it essentially stated that feminism had destroyed the ideal of a stay-at-home mom, and that the Baha'i Faith teaches that stay-ay-home momness is the ideal while being a working woman runs contrary to that ideal.
And while I try to figure out my hectic life and see where I am fitting in at present, this article made me rather upset.
The issue that I have with the article is that it makes feminism (by my definition "the outrageous idea that women and men are equal") seem to completely undermine the Baha'i Teachings - which it doesn't, at least not in my view.
To make matters even more confusing, dear reader, I am at present struggling with my image of myself - how do I see myself? Because so often we buy into an image of something - "Sears: the good life at a great price" - it is easy to confuse the person with the image. If I wear certain clothes, certain assumptions are made about me. If I do certain things, other assumptions are made. So close are we in this culture to the idea of consumerism that we not only do this to others - put them in a category - but also to ourselves.
And I have been judging myselfbased on what I wear, what I do, even what I eat! It is a very pervasive dilemma - to want to achieve a certain image and at the same time avoid falling into limiting oneself to that image alone!
So what does this have to do with feminism? This is the time of year - break is coming, and I am distracting myself from school so that I don't go INSANE - where I get to reflecting and planning for next year. We are looking at apartments in Chicago and planning our Spring Semester, and I am reflecting on my role in my family - as a soul, a woman, and a wife - and wanting to better myself.
That's all I've got for now.
Maybe it will make more sense later!
Nathan-
I like it when you rant.
love,
~your nuclear family wife
Posted by: liz at December 10, 2004 02:18 PMHmmm...
Yeah I don't quite understand why people think feminism is evil. I think the problem is that people cling to images and ideals so much. I feel like a lot of people in our society just pick a side, decide what they stand for and then attack everything that threatens it, regardless of the argument they are presented with. That's what politics is all about really. People vote based on image, I think, for people that they think represent what they believe in, whether or not that person actually DOES anything to prove it.
And I have to say I'm really tired of the argument that feminism has destroyed the nuclear family, etc. because it implies that there was some ideal time when everything was working perfectly, and that we need to "get back to the good 'ol days" and return to our values. But the reality is that, while the model of a stay at home mom and a working father may be a good one for many people it can't be considered the standard for what a healthy family should be because it is in fact an external standard. I'm sure that even in th magical 40s and 50s, before the EVIL RISE of feminism, there were plenty of families like that which were internally distraught, unhappy and abusive.
And even so-called radical feminists who declare all existing institutions, including marriage, patriarchal and therefore evil still serve a very important purpose, I think, in stripping us of our conventions, making us question how we think and how we act. In a sense, it's like the old model of civilization is on trial, and there are those who will do anything to defend it, and those who will do anything to destroy it, but through that conflict and through our own testimony (if you will) as witnesses, we discover what is hiding beneath our conventions, what they are truly rooted on. And thus, abuse, sexism and those ugly things can be rooted out.
well that was kind of a rant. maybe i'lll make it into a proper essay someday :)
Posted by: Nathan Davis at December 10, 2004 11:16 AMYeah, you already know that article made my head spin, too. What is truly shocking to me is that this woman isn't a Baha'i. Of course, in a Baha'i newsletter, it sure is presented as if this was a viable line of thinking from a Baha'i. Of course, staying at home is a viable option. But demonizing mothers who don't is NOT. In fact, demonizing just about anyone isn't exactly cool in the Faith. And feminism? I could quote Writings from the Baha'i Faith endlessly in support of feminism. Of course, that's why it just MYSTIFIES me as to why this article would be in a Baha'i Parenting newsletter. And her book appears as one of the few on their website, too!!!
Gah!!! I'm working on a letter to the editor that doesn't sound angry, hurt, accusatory ... it's taking a while.
Because, like you Lizzy, I'm thinking about wifehood, motherhood, womanhood... It was rather ironic. The night before I received this article, I was asked by someone who is rather influential for me (and a Baha'i) - why not get a PhD in feminist studies? Hahahaha ... not exactly the message that article was sending! And he knows I'm married, and I KNOW he wasn't telling me to not have children! And once he knew Mark supported this decision, he was dumbfounded that I was even at the Baha'i World Centre and not out working on that doctorate! If only the decision were that obvious to me...
Lots of love, Mara
Posted by: Mara Fojas at November 30, 2004 09:47 AM